As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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