Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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