I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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