I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You made out with two different species that night
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
