I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
