i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
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Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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