I got chris browned last night
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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