That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
