I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize