Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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