I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
