i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
this will be a night to untag.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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