please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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