I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Come on in and take your pants off
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