she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
