you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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