I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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