i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
