I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wear drunk well.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
