i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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