dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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