Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?

(773): View more from Illinois

Responsible fail?

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(907): Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior? (773): Responsible fail? http://tfl.nu/nxhx

Replies (19) Good night (1398) Bad night (5375)
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(516): View more from New York

Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?

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(516): Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right? http://tfl.nu/loiq

Replies (9) Good night (3598) Bad night (524)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?

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(404): Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them? http://tfl.nu/hlb3

Replies (38) Good night (690) Bad night (7009)
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(716): View more from New York

the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..

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(716): the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is.. http://tfl.nu/mon5

Replies (14) Good night (9742) Bad night (974)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.

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(318): I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away. http://tfl.nu/8l4v

Replies (21) Good night (1351) Bad night (5449)
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(802): View more from Vermont

You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.

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(802): You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises. http://tfl.nu/vxkf

Replies (33) Good night (2199) Bad night (5047)
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(301): View more from Maryland

He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.

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(301): He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him. http://tfl.nu/18rr

Replies (6) Good night (4350) Bad night (929)
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(334): View more from Alabama

thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week

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(334): thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week http://tfl.nu/vfml

Replies (13) Good night (2920) Bad night (822)
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(409): View more from Texas

The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.

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(409): The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out. http://tfl.nu/ni31

Replies (6) Good night (747) Bad night (3499)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable

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(732): wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/5ca2

Replies (16) Good night (6495) Bad night (929)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Are you alive?

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.

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(204): Are you alive? (1-204): I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all. http://tfl.nu/y639

Replies (4) Good night (1484) Bad night (662)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads

(1-787): View more from Puerto Rico

Croutons?

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(787): He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads (1-787): Croutons? http://tfl.nu/yr5t

Replies (3) Good night (1483) Bad night (312)
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(702): View more from Nevada

It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...

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(702): It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall... http://tfl.nu/3zyu

Replies (6) Good night (418) Bad night (599)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.

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(256): Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants. http://tfl.nu/myfs

Replies (2) Good night (689) Bad night (409)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.

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(218): Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked. http://tfl.nu/0yg0

Replies (2) Good night (462) Bad night (154)

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