Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  No idea how I passed that sobriety test.

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  (248): No idea how I passed that sobriety test. http://tfl.nu/5pip
  Replies (19) Good night (1872) Bad night (583)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks

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  (504): Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks http://tfl.nu/9to0
  Replies (11) Good night (5441) Bad night (2056)
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  (510): View more from California

  just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?

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  (510): just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i? http://tfl.nu/gdnc
  Replies (7) Good night (3761) Bad night (1068)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight

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  (757): Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight http://tfl.nu/0tps
  Replies (25) Good night (1745) Bad night (5916)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon

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  (978): I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon http://tfl.nu/xy8w
  Replies (5) Good night (3636) Bad night (1089)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.

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  (860): Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor. http://tfl.nu/foqn
  Replies (5) Good night (980) Bad night (1523)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me

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  (573): Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me http://tfl.nu/lmhn
  Replies (7) Good night (1929) Bad night (760)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.

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  (801): He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class. http://tfl.nu/8fc4
  Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (847)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.

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  (269): Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair. http://tfl.nu/xxq4
  Replies (0) Good night (733) Bad night (391)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.

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  (843): If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala. http://tfl.nu/anbg
  Replies (0) Good night (823) Bad night (318)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked

  (1+66): View more from

  oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you

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  (+66): i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked (1+66): oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you http://tfl.nu/vprd
  Replies (1) Good night (1063) Bad night (368)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.

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  (907): I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you. http://tfl.nu/34x6
  Replies (8) Good night (815) Bad night (536)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams

  (226): View more from Ontario

  In case that's what u were picturing

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  (226): I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams (226): In case that's what u were picturing http://tfl.nu/1xa1
  Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (370)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.

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  (205): I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die. http://tfl.nu/2vzl
  Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (680)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?

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  (703): What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to? http://tfl.nu/gsf7
  Replies (0) Good night (387) Bad night (221)

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