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• (305): View more from Florida

  3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over

  Fav 3 1232 2395

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg

  Fav 5 856 3022

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• (360): View more from Washington

  he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.

  Fav 6 1135 4141

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.

  Fav 14 7620 964

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??

  Fav 59 2326 3570

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?

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• (951): View more from California

  She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.

  Fav 2 2147 896

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.

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