my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
