Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?

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  (978): Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am? http://tfl.nu/38zg
  Replies (26) Good night (2977) Bad night (787)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.

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  (314): i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting. http://tfl.nu/k93x
  Replies (44) Good night (3886) Bad night (4380)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...

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  (775): I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral... http://tfl.nu/9wf7
  Replies (28) Good night (5292) Bad night (1524)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.

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  (775): I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question. http://tfl.nu/abym
  Replies (7) Good night (2810) Bad night (1004)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.

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  (517): btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener. http://tfl.nu/k1i6
  Replies (5) Good night (1916) Bad night (700)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing

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  (856): I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing http://tfl.nu/iy02
  Replies (10) Good night (1193) Bad night (940)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.

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  (262): Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning. http://tfl.nu/3fkk
  Replies (5) Good night (1588) Bad night (895)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!

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  (309): Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half! http://tfl.nu/uska
  Replies (4) Good night (1269) Bad night (525)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.

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  (416): Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement. (416): NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada. http://tfl.nu/6stg
  Replies (6) Good night (1502) Bad night (333)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.

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  (610): You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not. http://tfl.nu/e39j
  Replies (2) Good night (1016) Bad night (335)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!

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  (801): I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner! http://tfl.nu/dody
  Replies (4) Good night (712) Bad night (338)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested

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  (770): How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested http://tfl.nu/aiir
  Replies (5) Good night (605) Bad night (241)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad

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  (502): like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad http://tfl.nu/fybr
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (307)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.

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  (512): Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now. http://tfl.nu/zy0d
  Replies (6) Good night (364) Bad night (469)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.

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  (919): I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went. http://tfl.nu/8z0s
  Replies (2) Good night (294) Bad night (571)

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