is your mom at the bar?
My room smells like vodka and shame
I CAN MOONWALK!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.