That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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