and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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