I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
