She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
