people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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