did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.