He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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