yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
