why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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