so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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