A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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