I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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