You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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