YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
