I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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