i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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