Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
