is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize