I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just high enough for therapy.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
