Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
