my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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