Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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