Got a toothbrush?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
BRING THE BAGELS
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
