We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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