clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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