4 words: hood of his car
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
