dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I understand Curling. That high.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
