I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
