my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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