I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize