Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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