this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
