New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
