white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
do nipples grow back?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
