So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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