when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
