My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
