I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
