I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
