do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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