i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
