And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
