Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
