She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
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She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
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Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
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